Endless Slumber {Suzume}

[Rin Hayashi]

For a short moment in time, the ninja’s world was filled with color. He stood by the edge of a lake, knee deep in lush grass, a thick green carpet. A breeze blew, coming down from the sapphire blue sky, whistling through the glades of grass, making them sway back and forth in the wind. His raven-black hair was whipped around wildly, thrown into all directions by the sudden gust. He looked skyward for a moment, watching as a pair of sparrows flew by overhead, and then he slowly turned his gaze to the water in front of him. In the crystalline surface he saw fluffy white clouds reflected from the heavens. He reached out a hand, touching his fingertips to the surface of the water, reaching out to the clouds he saw reflected there. As his fingers brushed against the smooth surface, ripples blurred the image. As the clouds faded, he saw his reflection there, his face. He was a young boy, the way he remembered himself.

As he watched, however, the water turned dark and his reflection grew older, more hideous, features contorting in impossible ways. With a horrified look, he made a face, drawing away from the water. He slapped a hand against its surface, shattering the terrifying image, and he took a step back, rising to his feet. Thunder clapped loudly overheard, and as he looked up, lifting his gaze, he saw the clouds slowly fading, and within seconds the enchanting blue abyss had turned black.

Rin was awake. His eyes were open now. Instead of being greeted by the sun, by comforting images, he was greeted by nothingness. For a moment, still caught up in the images of his dream, he was confused. Then, however, reality set in, and he remembered. Tears formed in Rin’s eyes, but he angrily wiped them away. That’s right. This was his reality. The world he had left behind was nothing, just a figment of his imagination, just a dream. That beautiful world, the one with the blue sky, with the green grass, that did not belong to him. Waking up to blackness was never a pleasant thing, and it never got easier, even after all these years. Some days it depressed him more than others though, and this was one of those days.

With a sorrowful sigh, the man straightened up, lifting his head. He had fallen asleep in the branches of an old oak tree, not a very safe thing to do. Despite that, he did it often. It was a miracle he hadn’t fallen out of the tree in his sleep yet. His back was pressed against the base of the tree, resting against the trunk, while his legs were spread out on one of the wide branches. It was an old tree, each branch a decent size for perching on. He blinked a few times, as if he thought that he might get his vision back that way. Of course, nothing happened, and he soon gave up, knowing that he was being foolish. His mouth turned down into a frown, eyebrows knitting together, and he balled his hands into fists. It wasn’t fair.

If he were to just let go, if he were to fall, if he were to die… would he be able to see those colors again? Would he be plunged into a never ending dream, a dream where he had his sight back, where he could forevermore see the earth around him? He turned his body on the tree, so his feet were dangling off the tree limb, so his back had nothing behind it but air. His fingers loosened on the branch, releasing the wood from his grip. Slowly, very slowly, he started to lean back, unbalancing his weight. He took a deep breath, feeling his body start to fall. At the last second, however, a rush of adrenaline shot through his veins, screaming for him to stop, to save himself…and instinctively, as if by reflex, his hands lashed out and grabbed the tree limb once more. He caught himself just in time. One more second. One more second and it would have been too late. He took a shaky breath, realizing what he had almost just done, listening to the melancholy cry of a wolf as its howl echoed through the forest. One more second.

[/blockquote]

[Suzume Inoue]

Suzume ran and hard as she could as fast as she could, into the forest. She wasn’t sure how far now she was from the okiya, but she didn’t plan to stop until her body gave out on her, or until she was absolutely, beyond a doubt, positive that nobody was chasing after her anymore. Suzume breathed in the fresh air, air unburdened with the scent of the perfumes and incense that seemed to entwine itself into everything in the district. Suzume didn’t complain about it, as usually she was used to it, but some days it really got to her, and she just couldn’t stand to be surrounded by that smell. Today was one of those days.

Suzume slowed down, resting her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. Looking around, she finally noticed that she was unable to hear anyone following her. She let out an immense sigh, brushing her hair back. That was another relief. She’d just taken a bath that morning, and since she hadn’t had any duties outside the okiya to attend to, she’d been allowed to wear her raven-black hair down. It’d been a while since she’d seen it’s full length, and feeling it brush the backs of her knees sent tiny jitters through her that made her laugh. She wore a pale blue yukata that cut off just above the knees. Cranes danced across the bottom hem, hidden in a rainbow of pastel-colored reeds. Her white obi was threaded with silver to form a spiderweb pattern, and tied in the back with a butterfly bow. Her sleeves only reached her elbows. At a glance, she could’ve been a village girl. Except her long hair and finely colored clothing kind of gave her away.

Suzume began to walk, her simple bamboo sandals making a slight rustling sound in the grass of the forest. She’d never been this deep into this place, nor had she ever gone so far away from the okiya. She was both scared and exhilarated. Suzume hummed an old tune. It was quite a simple tune, one her instructor had given her to help memorize the notes on her instrument. As was tradition, she’d learned all her songs by ear. It was much too expensive to print out sheet music, and frankly, no one knew how to read music. Geishas were taught to feel the music move inside them. Some were better than others, and some could never feel it. Suzume was one of the better ones, but she was not the best. Neither was her singing, but it was good for an audience with ears unaccustomed to the voices of geishas singing. Her best suite though, was her fan dancing. It was something she was constantly asked to display at the tea houses.

As she was walking, Suzume’s ears caught the sound of rustling. Unable to pinpoint the direction, she hid behind a tree. More rustling. Looking up, she saw someone hanging from one of the branches. ”Hello!” she called out, smiling. She waved up to them, but they didn’t respond. Hmm, that’s odd… she thought. Then she recognized the clothing and the hairstyle. ”Rin!” she shouted, now a little worried. ”Are you okay? What’re you doing up there?” That was her biggest curiosity. She wanted to know how the hell he’d gotten up there!

[Rin Hayashi]

There was a sound. It was soft, quiet. A song, a melody. It wasn’t the birds though. No, for once the small winged creatures remained silent. It was a voice, a human voice, the voice of a girl. The sound surprised Rin a little, jerking him away from his depressing thoughts. His face scrunched up in confusion as he wondered why anyone would be out here. No one ever visited the forest. He waited, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from, listening carefully. It was a nice sound, soft and sweet, if not a little out of tune. It was soothing to his ears though. Soon, he could hear footsteps accompanying the melody, slowly approaching. Closer and closer they came, until they stopped. The person, whoever they were, called up to him, making him cringe inwardly. It was the next word, however, that left him in shock.

“Rin!”

Rin jumped a little on the branch, caught off guard by the sudden call. It wasn’t the fact that someone had spoken. He had known there was a human girl down there. He had heard her footsteps approaching after all. It was the fact that this voice had said his name, had called out to him. He froze, misty eyes widening. There were very few people who knew his name, and he doubted any of them would be way out here in the forest. But, the voice, it was unmistakable who it belonged to. He remembered the day he had ventured into the town, braved the crowded streets. It had been the day he’d bought his new clothes, the ones he was wearing right now in fact. The day he had met her, the one he wished to remain nameless; Suzume.

But how? But why? What the hell was she doing out here in the forest? Wasn’t she a geisha? Rin didn’t think that geishas were allowed to come this far from their home, because after all the forest was a dangerous place. He took a long breath, readying himself for their second meeting, a meeting that should not have happened. She should have let him be, and yet here she was working her way back into his memory.

“Are you okay? What’re you doing up there?”

“What am I doing up here?” Rin asked, echoing her question. He slowly rose to his feet, standing up on the branch. Carefully, he turned around, placing his feet in front of him one by one, walking one step at a time. He reached out his hands, resting them against the trunk, and then began his descent downward. “I was taking a nap. That is, until someone rudely woke me.” No, she hadn't woken him, but he just felt like saying that, putting the blame on her. He moved slowly, placing his feet cautiously against the tree, finding all the right footholds in the gnarled bark. When he thought he was close to the bottom, he let go, dropping the rest of the way. He landed lightly on his feet right in front of Suzume, straightening up quickly. His movements were graceful like a feline. “I believe the real question is… What are you doing so far from home?”

Rin tilted his pale face to the side, lifting an eyebrow questioningly. A small frown pulled at his lips. This was not good. Rin did not cross paths with people more than once. This girl, she was ruining his pattern. What was she thinking? He was vaguely annoyed at this, though he kept the comments to himself for now, more curious than anything. It was not often that people ventured this deep into the forest, that is, unless they were travelers, and Rin knew better, he knew that this girl was not a traveler. So why, why was she here right now? True, he could not see her, but he could hear her voice as clear as day, and he knew that she was definitely who he thought she was. She smelled the same as she had before too, a soft floral scent. Yes, it was definitely her.

[/blockquote]

[Suzume Inoue]

Suzume clapped her hands to her mouth as she saw Rin jump a little at the sound of his voice. She’d forgotten that he lived in isolation and wasn’t used to other people. She giggled to herself, doubling over as a fit of them passed over her. She’d almost forgotten how jumpy he was. As she waited, she pulled some of her hair to her front and began braiding it, more out of habit than actually wanting to braid her hair. Not to mention she hadn’t been able to do such a thing for quite a long time. Typically, once she bathed, it was straight to the hairstylist, and up went her beautiful long hair, disappearing into multitude of folds and other tricks the stylist used to contain her hair.

”I was taking a nap. That is, until someone rudely woke me,”

Suzume laughed loud and clear this time. It had been a long time since she’d been allowed to laugh like that, and it was comforting to feel her abdomen tightening as she laughed, gasping for air. Okay, so Rin wasn’t that funny, but it was more because she hadn’t laughed so good in so long that everything seemed funny now. ”I’m sorry!” she called, laughing a little still. ”I didn’t realize you were asleep! Suzume spun around a couple of times, waiting for Rin to come down to her level. If he didn’t, she would attempt to climb up to his level. Looking up she didn’t know if she could get up there. And she could see.

Rin landed lightly right in front of Suzume, making her gasp and jump a little. She hadn’t expected him to be this close! Suzume blushed, her red cheeks clearly visible on her pale skin, unlike when she blushed with her geisha make-up on. Feeling the breeze tickle her skin, she realized how protected she was from the elements. She had an urge to brush her hand against his face, to see the difference, but despite the fact she had tossed off her geisha-self, it still resided in her, and it told her no, with a capital N.

”I believe the real question is… What are you doing so far from home?”

Suzme blushed, laughing sheepishly. ”Well… that’s only kind of a long story…” she began, fidgeting and playing with her hair. ”I guess it was just too nice of a day to stay in a cage!” Suzume laughed before realizing what she’d said. ”I mean, the okiya, y’know?” she asked, trying to cover up her slip. Oh well, she thought, sighing and tilting her head to the side, letting her hair fall lazily down. If anyone would understand what she meant, it’d be him, right? He had to know what it felt to be trapped, with being blind and all. She bit down on her lip as soon as she thought it. That was so rude!

Suzume glanced up from underneath the hair that fell in front of her face, looking up into Rin’s face. He’d tilted his head to the side, frowning slightly. His eyebrow was raised in a question, and she smiled sheepishly. ”What?” she asked, feeling the tiniest bit of self-consciousness, which was very odd for her. She wanted to know why he was frowning. She wasn’t used to people frowning around her. Suzume was used to smiles and laughter and all things bright and shiny. But if she wanted to talk to him, she assumed that she would have to understand that all of that was gone from Rin now. Well, maybe not all. Maybe she could bring at least some smiles back.

[Rin Hayashi]

The girl started off by laughing, a loud and happy sound that echoed through the trees, causing some of the birds to startle and take flight. Rin frowned. What the hell was she so happy about? He didn’t see anything funny about this situation, unless she found nearly killing him of a heart attack laughable. “What?” he demanded. “What are you so happy about?” He couldn’t even remember the last time he had laughed, and he had a rather dark attitude on matters of happiness. It never pleased him to know that others were smiling, that others were actually enjoying life, when he was so miserable all the time. It wasn’t fair, not at all.

“Well… that’s only kind of a long story… guess it was just too nice of a day to stay in a cage! I mean, the okiya, y’know?”

Rin raised an eyebrow at this. “A long story? I have plenty of time.” That was the truth. He always had time, too much of it in fact. It went so slowly, the seconds ticking by in slow motion. The only way he was able to pass it was by becoming lost in his imagination. That was the only way he could escape the slow passage of time, to live in his mind. There were times though that he couldn’t do that, that his imagination was too worn out, that he became too depressed, and then the minutes would seem like hours, and the hours like days. Rin could tell that something had happened to cause the girl to flee to the forest. He could hear it in her voice. She sounded fine and happy, having the same ring to her feminine tone as she had the last time he spoke to her, but there was something different now, something a little off.

“What?”

Rin’s frown deepened at her simple question. “Nothing,” he muttered under his breath. “I am just wondering what reason you have to be here, that is all.” He was rather curious. It wasn’t often he met anyone out here, especially young women. Hm… He narrowed his foggy eyes. “Are you stalking me?” The question was asked in only half seriousness. Now that he was in the shelter of the trees, he wasn’t as tense as before, he as more relaxed. His voice was still very monotone, little emotion in it, but his movements weren’t as stiff and the words he spoke came more naturally. He knew that there were not people all around him staring, and so he had no reason to be self conscious. Well, he supposed there was this girl, but she didn’t seem to mind his odd eyes much. Or if she did she wasn’t saying anything about it.

“It is dangerous for you to be out here. The forest is not a place for little girls.” His mouth curved up very slightly as he spoke the last sentence, a faint smirk playing across his lips. He wondered, did she know that he lived in the forest, did she know that this was the place he called home? She had not question him yet, she hadn’t asked him why he was out here. Perhaps that was just because he hadn’t gotten the chance yet. She would probably think he was a freak when she found out. Most people did. They wondered how he could survive in the forest; him, a weak and helpless blind man. Oh how mistaken they were. Rin thrived in the forest, and he was far from weak and helpless. He knew his way around fairly well, and he found life away from the towns and villages to be much more peaceful. There were less people to gawk at him way out here.

As Rin stood there, he slowly reached out his hand, moving it back to the tree. He slid it against the bark, seeming to be searching for something. A moment later, he felt something smooth under his fingers, and he quickly grasped the bamboo cane he always carried. It acted as his lifeline, his guide. Without it he was always a little uneasy, feeling more vulnerable. He held onto the shaft tightly, clutching it with a firm grip. “Now, are you or are you not going to tell me why you are out here?” he questioned her, obviously interested in the reason the girl was so far from the village. He tried not to show it in his voice or face, keeping his expression bored and uninterested, but he was actually very curious. What reason would a geisha have to be out here? Wasn’t she scared she was going to get her clothes dirty?

[/blockquote]

[Suzume Inoue]

Suzume took a couple deep breaths to calm herself, standing and holding herself tall. For a small moment, she pulled out her geisha self. That trick could always calm her down. ”I’m sorry, I wasn’t laughing at you,” she replied, smiling. ”I just… don’t get to laugh like this very often, is all,” She struggled for a moment to find the correct words to say. She may have been a normal girl at that point, but a life’s worth of teachings that told her to keep her personal life to herself was hard to break on a moment’s notice. She sighed, breathing in the fresh air around her, leaning back to warm her face in the sun’s rays.

”A long story? I have plenty of time”

Suzume looked at him with shock. She wasn’t used to people digging any harder than they had to, and when she’d given a simple explanation, she’d expected him, especially him, to leave it as is. She blushed, unsure of how to voice her insecurities. Biting down on her lip, she finally sighed. ”It’s stupid…. But I didn’t want to an event with some old men that would only complain of me…” her voice dropped as she came closer to the real reason she had run. ”And there’s been talk of some old general that is looking for a new geisha to take as his mistress. I don’t want to be that girl.” she whispered the last sentence, hanging her head. She was ashamed of herself. She knew the lifestyle she was choosing when she had decided to train professionally to become a geisha. She’d seen as a young girl her mother go off with dannas much older than her. She’d seen friends with dannas double their age. So how come she refused to do the same?

”It is dangerous for you to be out here. The forest is not a place for little girls.”

Suzume scoffed. How dare he call her little? He didn’t know how old she was! For all he knew, she could’ve been in her late twenties or early thirties. Then she saw the slight smirk on his face. She laughed. ”Oh, so you only smile when you insult people?” she asked him playfully, smirking herself. ”And for your information, I’m not little! I’m nineteen!” She brushed her hair back. For her, nineteen was just beginning to peak into her career. She’d had her mizuage when she was 15. An average age, although her mother complained that she’d been too young, even though she’d been younger at her mizuage. Then again, Suzume’s mother hadn’t been born into the world of geishas. Her parents had sold her, hoping to give her a better life, which they sort of did. The only problem was that it was hard for a geisha to fall in love, and Suzume’s mother had been a victim of it.

As she stood, Suzume thought about the teahouses, and the event the old men would be waiting at for her. She began to feel slightly guilty, but she didn’t want to be stuck with some old general as a danna. Besides, it was her loss. She was the one losing money for running away. And it would go towards her ever-rising debt that her okasan was all too fond of keeping track of. Suzume looked up, watching a sparrow flit by, chirping happily. Sparrow. That was her namesake. Shouldn’t she have been like that sparrow, all happy and gay? She felt like one those sparrows she saw in elegant cages, singing out. Suzume sighed. Like she could sing.

Suzume watched with interest as Rin searched for his cane, grasping for it as his fingers brushed it. She wondered again what it must be like to not know what lay in front of you. That scared her a little bit, mostly because she was clumsy already. She wondered how he felt. Was he used to the darkness? Was he scared of it too? Smiling, an idea came to her head. She grabbed his hands, pulling him away from the tree. ”C’mon! I wanna run!” she cried cheerfully. Suzume was careful not to drag him against his will, rather, just send him the message to follow her.

[Rin Hayashi]

“And there’s been talk of some old general that is looking for a new geisha to take as his mistress. I don’t want to be that girl.”

“Then don’t,” Rin said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Be who you want. That is your choice, not theirs.” Some found the things he said wise, some found them odd. The dark-haired man gave a shrug of his shoulders, rolling them back with a sigh. Not that it mattered to him what she did or didn’t do… It’s just, he could hear the displeasure in her voice this event was causing her, so if it was causing her so much unhappiness, then why go through with it? Maybe he didn’t fully understand the life of a geisha, but Rin was a person who made his own rules. He thought everyone else should be able to do the same too. Being selfish was good every now and then. If something made you happy, why not do it? It might piss people off but at least you’d be happy doing it, right? Well, that’s how Rin saw things anyway.

“Oh, so you only smile when you insult people?”

Suzume’s voice brought him out of his thoughts, and he lifted his head slightly, tilting it in the direction of her voice. He seemed to think about what she said for a moment. “I suppose you could say that,” he answered her. “If a smile is really what you want to call it.” He knew better than that. If it was a smile, it was a sarcastic smile, one that he didn’t mean. Rin hadn’t smiled in a long time. There was never really any reason for it, and he wasn’t the type of person to give out fake smiles either. It was a waste of effort. He figured that he’d just keep frowning. It made him less approachable that way, kept people at bay, thinking he was some miserable unfriendly person, which he kind of was, and that it was better to stay away.

Then, the girl added something about her age, saying she was nineteen. Great, more unnecessary details. She needed to stop doing that… She had given him her name, and now her age too. Suzume. Nineteen. A girl he had met in the village. She had helped him find winter clothing. She was a geisha. This was their second time crossing paths. She was… He stopped his thoughts before he could bring her to life anymore. People were not important to him. They were just voices. That’s how it had been for many years now, and that’s how it should always be. Voices, nothing more. But then this voice, this girl, did something surprising.

“C’mon! I wanna run!”

“Run? Wait…” Rin felt the girl’s hands clasp around his and he tensed for a moment, freezing in place. “What are you…?” Run? But…why? It sounded strange to Rin. To just run for the heck of it. He kept his heels dug into the ground for a long moment, but then he sighed and let himself be pulled away from the tree. He didn’t know why he was tolerating such behavior. Maybe because it was a distraction. Maybe that was why, because it distracted him from his thoughts, made the darkness seem a little less dark, even if just for a small while. He took one step, and then another, letting the girl lead him away from the tree. His steps moved faster and faster to keep up with her, feet pounding against the earth below him. It was damp and grass grew there. He could feel it under his feet, pressing against the soles of his shoes.

He felt foolish for doing this. He didn’t know what this girl liked so much about running. “This…This is stupid,” he mumbled as he jogged through the undergrowth, one hand still attached to the girl’s so he didn't run into a tree and embarrass himself. Although he whined about it, in a way, though he would never admit it out loud or even silently to himself, it felt nice. The way the wind ruffled his long hair, the way the earth felt beneath his feet, like maybe if he ran fast enough he could escape the darkness. He knew that was impossible, but still, that was the feeling it gave him. His steps were a little unsteady, as running without being able to see wasn’t the easiest thing in the world. That was the reason he was still clutching the girl’s hand. “Where are we going?” he asked, his voice being carried away in the wind. Then, he added under his breath, “Better not let me run into a tree...”

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[Suzume Inoue]

”Run? Wait….”

Suzume laughed. ”Yes, run! Or is that such a foreign concept to you?” she gave a tug on his hands, urging him to move away from the tree and follow her. She had such an urge to run, and she didn’t know why. She bounced on the balls of her feet, excited for some reason. It was more she wanted to try and get away from his questions, like why she didn’t choose for herself what life she wanted to lead. The thing was, she had chosen. She had chosen to let others choose for her. As a geisha, her life wasn’t hers. She was like a flower in a vase. Beautiful, but once she’d been picked, her beauty only lasted for so long. She’d been told that for so long, that she knew it as a fact. But she felt more like a bird in a cage. Suzume knew how that went. They cried out their loudest at first, then as time went on, they would quickly die down, their voices going too. Suzume was caught between crying out and keeping her voice hidden, because maybe, if she didn’t cry, they would find her boring and let her go. But she didn’t want that either. She had chosen the geisha way of life and she loved it. Just, sometimes….

Suzume looked back to see Rin begin to push away from the tree, slowly letting himself be pulled along. She smiled to herself, then began to jog faster, knowing he would follow. As she began to run, her thoughts came to the surface, plain and clear. She hadn’t thought so clearly in so long, that it was a surprise to her why she didn’t do this more often. Oh wait, it was because she was a geisha. And she was a geisha because she liked the controlled freedom of her fan dancing, the gentle mystery of plucking out tunes on her shamisen, the quiet emotions that the simple sight of a delicate wrist could stir up. She was Suzume, a sparrow. She was the embodiment of the wild in a beautifully tiny body. She was music, delicateness, all wrapped up in something beautiful and natural. That’s why she had become a geisha, and that’s why she knew that she would eventually have to return and take her punishment.

”Where are we going?”

Suzume laughed again, breathless now. ”I dunno!” she called back, squeezing his hand as she laughed. Now that her thoughts were settled and her reasoning reaffirmed, she could stop. She could, but she honestly didn’t feel like it. ”And don’t worry, I promise not to let you run into a tree!” Suzume began to slow down to a jog, then a trot, and then finally a walk. She breathed deeply, regaining herself. She was quiet for a moment, putting her thoughts in order. ”To answer you earlier, I can’t” she said simply. ”I’m a geisha. I choose this life. I knew that when I became a geisha, people would be asking for me. I knew that there would be people I disliked that would ask for me, and that if I really did not want to be with them, I would have to do all I could to make that person see me as horrible.” Suzume stopped walking for a moment, thinking. ”Kind of like those samurais or ninjas, y’know? They knew that when they chose their life path, that they would have to kill people. They decided that the benefits of their profession outweighed the cons.” She laughed softly, trying to bring up her mood. ”My job is to make others happy. Not every man I meet is out there to look for a mistress. Some just want a pretty girl to talk to, or they want to watch a geisha dance, or play her instrument of choice. Kind of like how you go to cherry festivals just to admire the beauty of the trees…”

Suzume slapped a hand to her mouth, realizing she was talking about viewing things in front of Rin. Rin, who could no longer see. ”Ah, sorry about that….” she stumbled through, trying to find something inoffensive. Not paying attention to where she was walking, Suzume’s foot caught under a root, sending her falling face first.

[Rin Hayashi]

Finally, the girl slowed down and came to a halt. Rin let his hand slide from hers and he dug his staff into the ground, using it as a support. He hadn’t run like that in a long time. “What was that about?” he asked, resting against the cane, breaths coming quick. Thank god he hadn’t run into a tree or tripped over a rock. That would just be humiliation he didn’t need.

The girl began explaining to him why she couldn’t do what she wanted. To Rin, that didn’t sound like a very pleasant life. But, then again, that might just be because he hated taking orders from others. He would sooner smash their head in with his bamboo stick than he would let them order him around. Rin tried to understand, he really did, but it seemed too complicated for him to grasp. If that was the case, if she had known what she was signing up for, then it was her own fault, wasn’t it? So, she shouldn’t be complaining now. He was about to open his mouth and say something about it, probably something rude knowing him, but then he stopped, frozen by what the girl said next.

“Kind of like those samurais or ninjas, y’know?”

Her words left him speechless for a few moments, and everything she said after that sentence was a blank. It wasn’t like she said anything unusual. No, it wasn’t that. Ninja. That one word had been what caused his reaction in him. His misty eyes widened for a moment, but then his expression returned to normal. “Okay,” he said, waving a hand dismissively. “I get it already.” His last sentence was surprisingly bitter, his voice suddenly sharp. His face gave nothing away though, except for the slight arch of his brows as they slanted inward. Why would she say such a thing? Did she even know how much pain that one word caused him? Well, no… he supposed she didn’t. But still. He let out a loud sigh, fingers tightening reflexively around his shaft of bamboo, before relaxing again. “I understand,” he spoke again, this time his voice calmer. In the end, he supposed that he was actually worse than her… At least she would never had, or never would, be forced to kill anyone.

“Kind of like how you go to cherry festivals just to admire the beauty of the trees… Ah, sorry about that….”

“There is no need to apologize,” he told her with a sigh. “I was not always blind, you know.” He hated using that word; blind. Despite that, he managed to say it as if it wasn’t a big deal, keeping his voice even. He knew what cheery trees looked like. He might not be able to see now, but there had been a time when his eyes had worked. When she spoke of the cherry festival, he had been imagining the cherry trees, their branches covered in pink blooms, lightly swaying in the wind, pink petals raining down to the ground softly. It was a truly beautiful sight. He had seen trees like this only once, but that one experience gave him the ability to imagine them now, to see them as well as Suzume did. After all, she was speaking from memory, right? Well, he was pulling images from his memory too, mashing them with his imagination, creating his own scene. “I have seen cherry trees before.”

There was silence for a moment, and then Rin heard a loud thud nearby. He tensed at first, trying to figure out what the sound had been. Wait, was that…? He took a moment, trying to analyze what he had heard. He took a step forward, and then another, using his cane to guide him. It didn’t take him long to figure it out though, when his foot bumped against something soft.He stumbled a step, nearly falling over the girl himself. Luckily, he managed to catch himself at the last second. He mumbled a quiet apology, quickly stepping back, withdrawing. She’d fallen? “And just how did you manage that?” Rin asked, lifting an eyebrow quizzically. Even he didn’t fall flat on his face like that and he was blind! “Well, come on, get up already,” he told her, and then realized he had sounded rather demanding. He hesitated, but then slowly held out a hand in the direction of the girl. “You did not hurt yourself, did you?” He made sure his voice came out softer this time.

[/blockquote]

[Suzume Inoue]

Suzume gave Rin an odd look. ”Haven’t you ever done something just for the fun of it?” she asked, sounding slightly confused. Even though she complained sometimes about her life, she usually enjoyed what she did. She made others happy, and in return, she was happy herself. She was often silly, but it was because it was fun, so it was hard for her to understand why he didn’t do something just for the fun of it. Suzume had kind of assumed that it was something everyone did, even if it was just once in a while. Even for her, working everyday became tedious and annoying. She sometimes had to escape it to remember why she truly appreciated her career.

”Okay, I get it already.”

Suzume looked at him with a shocked expression. She hadn’t been expecting the bitterness in his voice, and instinctively, she covered her mouth, running through her words to try and figure out what made him snap. She wasn’t very successful in finding the trigger, but then again, she didn’t know much about him except for the fact that he lived in the forest, was blind, and didn’t exactly like company. She did get that either, but then again, her whole life had been spent surrounded by people and noises and colors, so she didn’t really understand much of Rin. Suzume looked up at the sky through the tree branches, watching them sway for a bit. It was a bit odd dealing with someone that didn’t deal with others, but in a way, it was refreshing. Rin wasn’t like other people she’d met, so she had to forge her own path with him. She couldn’t pull from past experiences, because she’d never met someone like him. She smiled at that thought.

”I have seen cherry trees before.”

Suzume blinked, blushing. She glanced away, even though he was blind. She thought that she heard a bit of sadness in his voice, or at least in the words he choose. It made her think again what she would do if she went blind. Suzume bit her lip. She didn’t think she could go on living. So much of her life depended on her sight, and so much she loved depended on that too. She glanced back at Rin, watching his eyes as they looked to nowhere. They were very pretty, in her opinion. She doubted he’d believe her if she said that, and he’d probably think she was odd herself. Suzume also wanted to ask him how he’d become blind, if he hadn’t been born blind. She didn’t think a fire had done it, or that someone had attacked his face, as there weren’t really any scars covering his eyes. ”Uhm…”

It was all she could get out before she tripped. Suzume wasn’t totally sure how she did it herself until she sat up, rubbing the heel of her hand. ”Ouch…” she muttered under her breath, biting her lip. She saw the root and glared at it. Of course the gods would do this to her. They seemed to find it funny to see a geisha trip while wearing her high platform sandals, but now they thought it funny to trip her when she was out of her geisha wear? Maybe they were telling her she was better off as a geisha. Suzume shook her head, checking herself to make sure she wasn’t bleeding, which she wasn’t, but there was a green stain on her knee from the fall. She sighed.

”You did not hurt yourself, did you?”

Suzume looked up at him with wide eyes. She hadn’t expected him to help her up. She looked at his outstretched hand for a bit, trying to think of what he was thinking at the moment, but she’d never been good at guessing what people were thinking. Laughing, she grasped his hand, helping herself up. ”No, I think I’m fine. This is something that happens a lot!” Suzume laughed sheepishly. ”You’d think a geisha would be a lot more graceful, huh?”

sorry for the wait!!

[Rin Hayashi]

Rin felt the girl wrap her fingers around his, and he tightened his grip on her hand, pulling her up. She wasn’t that heavy, so it was fairly easy to get her back on her feet again. “No, I think I’m fine,” she said with a laugh. “This is something that happens a lot! You’d think a geisha would be a lot more graceful, huh?” Rin lifted an eyebrow at that, and then forced a laugh from his lips. It was not a happy sound though, and instead it sounded more sarcastic. “Indeed you would,” he agreed with her. “Even I who cannot see my own feet am more graceful.” As usual, he said just what he was thinking, being blunt. She herself had admitted to being rather klutzy, so surely she could not take offense to his words. Not that he cared if she did.

Her hand was warm. He noticed this as he helped pull her to her feet. It felt strange against his. He hadn’t felt any type of warmth in a long time. He was used to the cold, to lifelessness. His fingers lingered on hers for a moment, and then he let them slide away. Human contact was something foreign to him. He slowly took a step back, putting some distance between them. His angled his head in her direction, and his misty eyes seemed to look right through her. He kept his gaze in that direction for a few moments before lowering his head, letting his long black hair cascade into his face.

“And to answer what you asked before you fell so gracefully on your face, no,” he added quite seriously, eyes still directed downward. Well, he probably had once, but that had been a long time ago, back when he could actually see. While most people wouldn’t be able to believe it, Rin had actually been a trouble-maker when he was younger. “Fun…” he mused, looking thoughtful, testing the word on his tongue. Fun was not a word in Rin’s vocabulary. The life he led was rather boring, and no, he did not often do things ‘just for the fun of it.’ Was that what the running was supposed to be? ‘Fun?’ He cast his misty eyes skyward, a distant look on his face, like he was thinking back to some other time.

“What do you consider fun?” he asked a little absently, mind seeming to be elsewhere. Rin didn’t usually ask questions of people, only when his curiosity got the better of him, which it was usually doing now. Usually he regretted inquiring things of people, but he had trouble controlling what he said, and his thoughts often became words before he could stop himself. As he waited for a reply, he sighed quietly. His eyes were still directed skyward, staring at the place the sky should be. He wondered if it was blue today? Or was it overcast? He seemed to ponder this for a moment. It was something he often did, imagine what the world around him looked like, the trees, the ground below his feet, the sky… The only thing he did not dare imagine were the faces of people.

[/blockquote]

[Suzume Inoue]

”Even I who cannot see my own feet am more graceful.”

Suzume looked at him for a moment, blinking. She wasn’t used to people being so unusually blunt to her. Suzume made such comments almost every time she tripped, and her company usually told her things like not to worry, that they too would’ve tripped, comments that would make her feel better. But not Rin. She laughed. ”Only by a little, I’d say,” she teased him. As he helped her up, Suzume noticed Rin pause as she held his hand, their fingers intertwined for a moment before he slid away from her. She bit her bottom lip. His hands were cool and rough, probably from having to work. She looked down at her own hands, smooth except for her fingertips, which her callused from playing her stringed instrument. It amazed her how different two people could react to a situation.

Suzume picked up a leaf off the ground, holding it in front of her face like a mask, then over the sun, playing with weak light. Despite the setting cold and cloudy sky, Suzume still smiled. It was be winter soon, and she lover winter, if only because then they could take out the winter kimonos, and she preferred the designs on those over the summer kimonos. It was well past midday by now, but the sun had yet to set. Suzume smiled at the weak sun. ”I guess winter will be coming soon,” she murmured, more to herself than to Rin, but she was sure that he could hear her.

”And to answer what you asked before you fell so gracefully on your face, no”

Suzume shook her head at the first part. ”Yes, yes we all know how graceful I am now, thanks so much,” she said with a laugh. She almost missed his answer due to her talking but she looked at him with surprise. ”What? So you’ve never had fun?” she asked. It seemed impossible for her for someone to never have fun. She was almost always in a state of happiness, so much so that her sadness only lasted for a little while. Sadness was an emotion that she did not enjoy, and so therefore, did not explore very much. According to her dance and music instructors, that was a problem, for she could not dance nor play sad music properly then. Her argument was always that nobody ever asked for a sad song or a sad dance, so why did she have to display it properly, but it always failed to produce the fruits she desired.

Suzume smiled at Rin. “What do I consider fun?”

[/b] she repeated the question, thinking for a moment. ”Hmm, dancing, I guess.” she laughed. It sounded silly to her, so she was sure it sounded odd to him, but that was something she loved. ”Oh! Ad playing the shamisen. I’ve always loved those two,” she replied to his question. ”But there has to be something you do for fun, even if it’s just sleeping!” she shot his question back on him.
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[Rin Hayashi]

“I guess winter will be coming soon.”

Rin lifted his head at the sound of Suzume’s voice. Well, that was random. He was silent for a moment, letting the breeze blow past him, feeling the air pass over his skin. She was right. It was colder. One of the first signs of winter. “Do not remind me,” he said quietly. Rin didn’t like the winter. It was cold and bitter, like him. It made surviving in the forest quite a pain, and there was never enough food. Not to mention the cold… some days it wasn’t so bad, but others the temperatures were so icy that it almost hurt. He didn’t much like the snow either. People always went on about how beautiful it was, but Rin couldn’t see it like that. He could just feel it. And it felt cold, cold and wet. There was nothing beautiful about that. “That is why I was in the market a few days ago,” he added absently. “To purchase warmer clothing.” He wondered if she knew, knew that he lived out here. Had she figured it out yet? He didn’t ask.

“Hmm, dancing, I guess. Oh! And playing the shamisen. I’ve always loved those two.”

“Dancing?” Rin asked with an eyebrow raise. “How is dancing fun?” He tried to imagine himself dancing, but the images his mind came up with were quite horrifying. He pictured himself flailing around, tripping about, making an utter fool of himself. He made a face, lip curling up in disgust. Embarrassing, that’s what it sounded like! Hardly fun! He would never be caught dancing, not ever. This he could swear. He wondered briefly how this girl managed to dance as she said. She hadn’t proved to be the most graceful of beings, so how was it that she was able to stay on her feet? He didn’t say this out loud for once, deciding he had already made enough comments about her clumsiness.

Then his mind drifted to the second part of what she had said. She’d told him she played the shamisen. This sounded a little more appealing to Rin, as music was something that he was quite fond of. It took a certain kind of person to understand it, as music was not just a sound, no, it was the song of the musician’s heart. He wondered…what kind of songs did Suzume play? Were they happy, were they melancholy? It was amazing what a melody, a simple song, could say about a person. You could learn many things about them by listening to them play. Rin didn’t mean to say anything, he hadn’t been planning on it, but his curiosity suddenly got the better of him, and he found himself asking, “You play an instrument, do you?” He seemed thoughtful. “Perhaps you could show me one of your songs?” He wasn’t sure why he had said that, as he was quite sure that she didn’t have her instrument with her. Stupid.

And then she was talking again, this time directing the conversation back in his direction. Great. He didn’t want to be in the spotlight.

“But there has to be something you do for fun, even if it’s just sleeping!”

Rin was fairly certain that she wasn’t actually being serious when he said that, however, he found himself agreeing with her words. “Sleep,” he mused thoughtfully. “Yes, I suppose sleep is fun.” As he said this, words leaving his lips, he wondered how pathetic that sounded to her. Sleep, that was the only ‘fun’ thing he knew, but he doubted she would be able to understand that. He cherished sleep because when he dreamed it was as if he had his eyes again. Like magic, he could see, his vision returned to him. Waking up was always a disappointment. If Rin had his way he would sleep, sleep forever. A rather sad look passed over his face, his blue eyes seeming to dull slightly.

Maybe he should have let go of that tree earlier, maybe he should have let himself fall. Maybe that would have taken him to a better place. As his thoughts began to stray, he managed to catch himself. That’s right, he was talking to someone, wasn’t he? He was talking to her. She was still there. Wait, had she said something? His misty eyes looked troubled for a moment. He didn’t think that she had…but it was possible, as he hadn’t been paying attention. “Sorry,” he mumbled, casting his misty eyes off to the side, staring at nothing. “Did you say something?”

[/blockquote]

[Suzume Inoue]

”Do not remind me,

Suzume laughed again. The tone of his voice was almost comical in comparison to her love of winter. ”I’m taking it that you don’t like the cold?” she asked him, smiling. It was odd to her that anyone could hate winter. It meant spending more time around those you loved and breathing in the nice cold air. Not to mention that se loved the way the snow rested on the trees. It seemed so far beyond this world when she woke up to a fine blanket of sow covering everything. And she loved bundling up. It was the one season where she didn’t have to worry about overheating from all of the layers of kimonos she was required to wear. The geisha took in Rin’s profile. He was lean, and most likely muscular. Living out here all by himself, she assumed that he couldn’t afford to be lazy.

”Oh right! Suzume slapped a fist into the palm of her other hand. ”How are your new clothes holding out for you? I hope there keeping you nice and warm!” she said with a laugh and with all the enthusiasm of a sales person. ”So what is it like, to be out here all by yourself?” Suzume asked, leaning against a nearby tree. ”I can hardly imagine. My whole life has been composed of being surrounded by people and noise…” she trailed off, thinking of her childhood, of how large everything had seemed, and how very mystical it all was. At such a young age, she constantly wondered if she lived in the human realm or the spirit realm. Except she never once did see a tengu, so she assumed that she was firmly set in the human realm.

”Perhaps you could show me one of your songs?”

Suzume glanced up at him, then back to her hands that rested against her stomach. ”Why don’t you visit the okiya some time?” She offered quietly. ”I’m sure you would be welcomed warmly there, and I am always practicing…” She blushed, and she was glad he couldn’t see. How could she have been so forward?! She bit down on her lip, trying to think of a way out. ”Or… or I could try and bring it out here once, if that would be fine…” her voice low. She felt embarrassed, which she thought was a first for her outside of her geisha life. Not that she was embarrassed often even while she was a geisha, but… still. It was an uncomfortable feeling.

”So… why do you live so far out here?” Suzume asked, recovering herself. ”Or, is there a house of some sorts you stay in?” she continued, looking for some answers. It wasn’t every day you came across someone living by themselves in the forest, and Rin was a character she fully intended on exploring. ”I mean, you must not have lived here your whole life, so…” Suzume bit down on her lip. She wasn’t sure if that was the way to go around the question, and she hoped that he caught her drift, since she wasn’t sure if she was able to come out directly and ask him where he was from.

[Rin Hayashi]

“I’m taking it that you don’t like the cold?”

The girl laughed again. Did she find it funny to giggle at his misery? Rin just sighed. “ No, not particularly,” he mumbled. “It is freezing.” Maybe she, someone who could see the pure white snow falling, found winter to be pleasing. But Rin did not. It was never the most pleasant of experiences, freezing his ass off in some cave, with only a small fire to keep him warm. Sometimes he enjoyed the smell of the crisp morning air, as it could be reviving, however, most of the time he was silently complaining about how inhaling it would freeze his lungs into ice blocks. If it was up to Rin, the world would be stuck in an endless summer, everything always warm, the birds always singing. During the colder months the birds all flew south, flew somewhere far away, leaving the usually bustling forest in a melancholy silence. “And it is so quiet…” he added as an afterthought, voice just above a whisper. “Listen.” He held up a hand, gesturing for Suzume to stop speaking for a moment. If you listened hard enough, you could hear the silence, it became its own sound.

Suzume asked him something about his clothes, but Rin wasn’t really paying attention. He just gave a small grunt and nod in response, assuming she had asked if he they were warm enough or something.

“Why don’t you visit the okiya some time?”

That got Rin’s attention though, and his misty blue eyes widened ever so slightly. She was inviting him there? His expression quickly dropped again though, returning to normal. “Or… or I could try and bring it out here once, if that would be fine…” She sounded…embarrassed? Yes, Rin would have much preferred it if the girl brought her instrument out here among the trees. That would be asking a lot though, and he felt that if he wanted to hear the song it should be his job to go to her. Sometimes he wished that he didn’t have a conscience. Ugh, now he wasn’t sure what to do… He was over-thinking this, wasn’t he? “Well, the second of the two would be preferable,” he told her with a quiet sigh.

“So… why do you live so far out here? Or, is there a house of some sorts you stay in?”

Rin narrowed his eyes, not liking the sudden outburst of questions. Why did she care where or where didn’t live? Was it that important? “If you must know,” Rin began reluctantly, “I live here because I do not like being around other people. You might have figured that much by now though.” Rin decided to be nice, or nice for him anyway, by providing this girl with half the answer. It was true that he did not like being around other people. He could deal with one-on-one time for a short amount of time, but when it came to crowds he always became a little nervous. Probably because with all the voices around him at once, all the different sounds, it confused his senses. “And there is no house,” Rin added, remembering she had asked him two questions.

”I mean, you must not have lived here your whole life, so…”

Another question? Well, okay, it wasn’t exactly a question, but it was close enough. Rin could tell immediately that the girl was only trying to squeeze more information out of him. He really didn’t think he was that interesting. Apparently, however, this girl thought so. He thought about answering for a moment, but then he changed his mind. She had not actually asked him, so he would not answer her. “Is that a question?” Rin asked quietly. He shifted his weight, leaning more against the bamboo staff he was holding.

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