Rain [Kiyomi]

[Kiyomi Kato]

Kiyomi let out a slight gasp as Musashi took a hold of the hand she had placed on his shoulder, and whereas her normal instinct would be to draw back, to pull away from him, she let him keep a hold of her hand. She was not sure what it was about him that she trusted, but she felt comfortable around him, even with his fingers wrapped tightly about hers. Despite the fact they had both been inside moments before, despite the fact they had both been in the open air for the same length of time, Kiyomi could not help but notice that Musashi's hand could have passed as freezing, and it sent a small shiver through her body. How bad was this hidden emotion within him if it were able to change him so drastically?

“Musashi-san...” was all she was able to mutter, barely more than a whisper. The sadness in his voice astounded her, and she felt his words tug at her heart strings. Taking a few deep breaths, she did not move save for the rise and her fall of her chest. She waited for him, listening intently, wanting to find a way to make the sadness in this noble man's voice disappear. However, the question he asked her took her by surprise, and she lowered her head quickly, embarrassed and ashamed, unsure of how to admit to not only killing, but killing many. She had not performed such acts honourably like him...no, she was cold blooded, merciless, acting without reason and on others orders.

But before she was forced to answer, Musashi continued. He told her, with so much regret in his voice that it hurt her to listen, that he had lied about his battle with the demon. Slowly he raised his hand, showing her clearly his missing finger tip. For a moment, she looked confused, and then moved her eyes from the finger to his, staring at him for a long period of time, taking in what it was he was saying. And then, he told her. He explained everything. In that moment, she saw him in a different light, more alike despite their differing opinions on the rain than she ever could have imagined.

When he had finally finished recounting his loss, Kiyomi dropped her free hand from his shoulder, and, seemingly without second thought, entwined her fingers with his on his left hand. It was as cold as his right, in which hers was still clasped.

“Musashi-san...you cannot blame yourself for what happened.” Her words were soft, gentle, lacking the rough edge she seemed normally to have. “I have not know you long, but I am sure you would not take the life of one you loved deliberately. And if you did not mean to take her life, then such a thing was an accident. You cannot be blamed for that Musashi. Wherever you fiancée is now, I am sure she would not want you to feel the way you are. I'm sure she understands your pain. But she would not want you to live your life like this, in constant sorrow. If we love someone, we would never wish that on them.” There was a long pause after that, in which Kiyomi averted her gaze from his, realizing, unintentionally, the meaning that should have to her own life.

[Kensei Musashi]

"Perhaps. Perhaps it was not my hand that brought down the blade, but I am undeserving of sympathy. I knew she was weak, so for her sake I promised to protect her. But when the time came, who did I protect? Did I rush to her side and defend her? I am considered a hero of the Emperor for rushing to his side that night and defending him from a demon, but in doing so I had abandoned the one who truly needed my help. I left her to die" he spoke back to Kiyomi, briefly staring into space as he replayed the night vividly in his head. His sullen features were a phantom of his former self. "She was not able to defend herself. She was but a poor, blind woman living on the edge of town. She was not safe to wander on her own, yet she was the most beautiful woman I ever met. I offered her my hand, and she accepted. Yet I still turned my back on her".

He paused for a moment, before turning his face back towards Kiyomi, locking his eyes with hers again as he continued his tale. "Yet, it is not as though I could blame the Emperor either. How could I? He did not force me to make my decision. I could have abandoned him and run to her side, rescue her, and live out the rest of my days knowing I had abandoned him, living far from here with Sakuya-san... But then, fate isn't so simple, is it? At night, I have often wondered what else might have happened that night... What if I went to her side and rescued her, and by some chance my men had managed to keep the Demon at bay long enough by themselves? Would it not be right to laugh at how pathetic I am now, if such an easy solution had been reached? But there is another possible outcome, isn't there?" he told her, his features suddenly darkening as his voice took on a grim tone.

"What if I had rushed to her side, only to find her dead? What if after doing so, the Emperor himself had also died? What if that night, I had saved no one? Would I not then be a horrid wretch, too? This world isn't very forgiving. That much is certain. But I alone hold the blame of abandoning her when she needed me most. Yet I alone was too cowardly to even commit myself to seppuku. What use is a samurai who cannot even abide by his own morals? Staying on one's path... It sounds so easy, but it is so difficult. I... am pathetic" he admitted to her, cursing his own uselessness. In his own eyes, he was no hero or even a samurai. Just a pathetic insect, waiting for a punishment no one had brought him.

[Kiyomi Kato]

“I am undeserving of sympathy.” Those words rang around Kiyomi's head, and her heart sank. Musashi turned away from her a little, lost in his memories, and she felt an irrepressible urge to reach out to him, to help relieve his pain. However, no matter how much she wanted to do that, she knew that she couldn't, not because he would push her away, but because she did not know how. She did not know what to say to make him feel better about the trials he had been through, and he knew not how to act around him to prove that she, as a person, saw him no differently than she had, that she still saw him as the hero he was.

In the brief pause he made in his tale, she squeezed his hands gently in her own, as if urging him to continue, as if trying to get him to tell her everything, to completely unload his sad thoughts, his guilt, onto her. She could help him bare it, help him overcome the issues he faced. Then came the next wave, him telling her that fate was cruel, that no matter what he did, there was a chance someone could have died that night. On hearing such things, on hearing he'd protected the Emperor and it was that that caused his loss, she began to hate their Lord even more. Where as before she could at least see him as human, she could now no longer even do that. He wasn't a person. He was a disease, sitting at the heart of Japan, corrupting it from its very core. How she wished that man had died that night. Alas, the past could not be changed, and she would make up for his escape. She would kill him, and there would be no one to save him this time.

Taking a deep breath, Kiyomi managed to regain control of her emotions, pulling herself back into her more caring persona. Now was not the time to think of such things. When the Samurai's tale came to an end, Kiyomi let a small, sad smile flit across her lips, and she squeezed his hand again reassuringly. “Musashi-san...please do not think yourself pathetic. Please, do not think yourself a bad person. You are blinded by your loss, by your own guilt. Can't you see that it was not you who caused her death? You were not next to her, no, but you were with the Emperor. You were doing your duty, the one demanded of you by the God that walks among us, and that required strength, honour and courage. You should not have to bear this pain after what you did for our countries figure-head.”

That said, she dropped her head a little, her dark fringe falling over her face. “Anyway, that is one thing I never understood about Samurai...seppuku. What a ridiculous notion. Should you fail, surely you should try again to better yourself. You are of no use to anyone dead. Even a disgraced warrior can save a life. A dead warrior can do nothing but rot. I have nothing but respect for your decision Musashi-san.”

[Kensei Musashi]

"Then what am I?" he asked, feeling her hand grip his a little tighter. The falling rain all around him created a cacophony of noise that filled the pauses in his speech, filling in where there would otherwise be silence. His eyes glanced over the rainy scene and watched as the endless drops fell from the heavens and washed over the earth. He himself was briefly shaded in the space beneath the tree, though even he could feel an occasional drop slip through and hit his head, flowing through the roots of his hair and sliding down his head. "I have accepted the path of a samurai. I have accepted the possibility of death and the possibility of killing. But this isn't the same. In the life of a samurai, one does not account for such a defeat. Even if it is with one's dying breath, one hopes that their struggles, however futile, may have contributed to something... I, however, was defeated that night".

He paused again, staring back towards Kiyomi with those almost dead eyes of his again, only for her fringe to obscure her features. Sighing, he began to speak once more. "For a long time, I have been called 'Kensei', however... Since that night, I have decided that I no longer qualify for such a title. I... Do not deserve the title 'Kensei'. I may have saved my Emperor's life and indeed, I feel some comfort in knowing I, in some small way, protected a life... But just the same, I was powerless to save another life that was every bit as important" he told her, once again stopping for a moment as he looked over Kiyomi. Slowly, wordlessly, he closed the gap between them and his arms slowly wrapped around her figure, pulling her into an embrace as he let his chin rest upon her shoulder, holding her close to him.

"Thank you, Kiyomi-san, for attempting to comfort my loss... However, time does not heal all wounds and my inability to protect even what is in front of me is shameful for someone like myself. I chose the path of a protector, yet I have failed in my duty. For that reason, I intend to atone for this with my life" he admitted to her, releasing his embrace on her and stepping back, beginning to turn away without a word. Maybe she had considered seppuku to be a fool's way out and perhaps she was right, however, his heart had been torn apart by his love's death. Even if he didn't do it, he fully intended to live out the rest of his life fighting until he met a man who could slay him in battle. Perhaps then, by giving his life on the battlefield, he could somehow make up for that moment where he'd failed to protect Sakuya.

[Kiyomi Kato]

“Then what am I?”

The samurai posed a good question, and it was one that Kiyomi did not know the answer to. There were many things that she thought Musashi was, yet she was unsure how apt at describing him any of them would be. To her, in the short time she had known him, he was a stoic Kensei, a skilled warrior, one who had treated her with an unquestioned and unquestioning kindness. He was attractive, he was a survivor, he was an empathetic teacher. Yet he seemed unable to see any of these things he had the potential to be, so lost he was in his own guilt. He could not see the positive things that even she, a generally negative woman, could make out.

However, these thoughts were not long entertained, and she did not get to speak any of them. In a rather unexpected show of emotion, Musashi stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Kiyomi, drawing her into a tight embrace. He rested his head upon her shoulder, still speaking as he did so, although his voice seemed different, changed, although it could have merely been the proximity between them changing that caused the effect. Standing dead still, as if she had been petrified by some kind of magic, it took a moment for Kiyomi to react, awe struck at the move that crossed so many social boundaries it was untrue. One did not simply wrap their arms around someone they had just met, especially if they were of the opposite sex!

Then, on further thought, she warmed to the idea. Their meeting had been in no way a common one, and it had been filled with strange new concepts that would be somewhat alien to most. It was rare for two people to call each other '-san' upon a first meeting, yet the pair had done away with that custom fairly quickly. What was to stop them doing away with this one? The more she entertained the idea, the easier it became, and the more sense it made to embrace him back, something that, once she could get her limbs working again, she did.

Knitting her hands behind his back, she let her arms tighten about him for a moment, giving a momentary and comforting squeeze, and then released a little, so that the pair were stood in a simple hug, arms around each other, as if both were trying to seek comfort and warmth, hiding from the monsoon with each other. Kiyomi smiled a little, a strange warmth flowing through her. She had not been hugged in what seemed like forever.

And then he pulled away, stepping back, finally telling her that he would, one day, give his life for his mistake. Lowering her head once again, Kiyomi shrugged. “It was easy for me to comfort you Musashi-san, for I feel you have done nothing wrong. I am sure that most people you would talk to may say the same. The mistake is not one that you should feel guilt over. But,” and it was with a heavy heart she said these next words, “I see no matter what I say you are going to feel your life is the only atonement you can give, and I know that there is a stubbornness in you I cannot appeal to. But please, even if it is for my sake, a woman who has known you but half a day, do not give your life needlessly. You are a good man, Kensei, and the world will one day have a dire need for good men like yourself.”

She offered a wry smile, and then turned slightly to examine the rain that still fell, eyes wide, wondering if, as he had told her his tales, she should to the courteous thing and tell him her own.

{{Sorry for the late reply! I've been ill recently. But I'm feeling much better now, so posting should return to normal! xD}}

[Kensei Musashi]

"I can only imagine when that time will come, then" Musashi spoke, gently letting the embrace slowly slip away, releasing this woman as he stepped back. The feeling had been odd and admittedly, the action had been on the spur of the moment, yet the feeling was genuine and sentimental. For just a brief moment in the rain, even he could manage a small smile before looking up to her, staring into her eyes and finding a lingering mystery about her. She was an enigmatic person and indeed, a very difficult person to figure out. But even so, he remained convinced she couldn't be bad. Steadily he stepped back however, giving her some generous space before he turned in a half-step, now looking back to her with his body in a sideways position to hers. He kept that eye contact with her all throughout, but didn't speak for a moment.

"My... Apologies. My actions were too abrupt. We have only known each other for a short while... Yet I must admit, I... Feel a connection with you. I do not know what that connection is, however..." he spoke, before proceeding to turn his back to her, slowly beginning to walk out of the shade of the tree and into the rain again. "You remind me of myself, Kiyomi-san. Perhaps there were no coincidences, that our meeting here was a product of fate. In any case, I am sure we will be seeing each other again" he finished telling her as he continued walking, his dark hair lying flat on his head, heavy from the downpour of rain upon his being. He took a deep breath and for a moment in the rain he held it, but nonetheless he soon released it, staring up at his dojo. Stepping up, he grasped the door to the dojo and began to slide it open.

This was his refuge. This was his home to return to. His life and the path laid before him was not one for the peaceful man - it was one for a samurai. His duty was to serve, to protect and eventually, to die on the field of battle. He did not doubt the chances he would be slain by a powerful enemy or a dangerous demon on the way, but so long as he felt he could give his death some sort of meaning, then perhaps nothing he did in life could have been considered meaningless. Before he proceeded inside however, he paused and turned back to Kiyomi for just a moment. "Kiyomi-san... What we discussed, please do not tell anyone what I have just told you. Not even the Emperor knows of these feelings. I hope you understand" he told her before walking back into the warmth of the dojo - his sanctuary.

[Kiyomi Kato]

Kiyomi's heart warmed when she saw Musashi smile. It was slight, a fleeting show of teeth and a curve of the lip, but it seemed genuine. Knowing how much he hated being in the rain, to get him to show any happiness at all was a small success. She found it impossible not to smile back, lowering her head as she did so, a slight blush rising in her cheeks, turning her tan skin a few shades darker. She glanced at the floor, unsure of herself for a moment, not used to feeling the emotions coursing through her. What was it she was feeling? Joy? A connection of some sort? Surely that was impossible; Kiyomi cared about only three people, herself, her father and her sister. She had to get regain some control over her mind. She couldn't let herself feel for it would only get in the way of her job.

When she glanced back up, Musashi had turned to leave. He was a good distance away from her, although his eyes bore into her own, locking them together, keeping both frozen in place. When he spoke, it was a short time after, a minute or so perhaps, the sound of the rain deafening in the silence. "My... Apologies. My actions were too abrupt. We have only known each other for a short while... Yet I must admit, I... Feel a connection with you. I do not know what that connection is, however..." Kiyomi could only help but blush again, happy it was not just her that felt something for the other she had met that day. She felt butterflies swarm in her chest, and she was momentarily light headed. However, she managed to keep calm, coughing a little to clear her throat and move things on.

Raising her hand, her fingers were open a little, splayed out as if to try and stop him leaving. However, she said no such thing. “I...you do not need to apologize Musashi-san. You are not the only one who feels a connection. I think that shows by how quickly we may have done away with some more common custom.” Her cheeks darkened, burning. “I can only hope that I provided some comfort for you on a day that clearly holds bad memories for you.”

With that, he began walking, stepping slowly and deliberately towards his dojo, sliding the door open and staring inside of it. However he paused, as if waiting for her to join him. And join him she did, although she waited for a few moments, scanning the pretty little garden, looking over the quickly soaking grass. She knew that Musashi wanted to return to his sanctuary, but in accompanying him, she had to leave hers. Balling her hands into fists, strengthening her resolve, she decided that his need was greater than hers. Stepping up so she stood just behind him, she gestured for him to keep going.

However, before he did, he spoke again, asking something of her, something that she was all too pleased to agree to. "Kiyomi-san... What we discussed, please do not tell anyone what I have just told you. Not even the Emperor knows of these feelings. I hope you understand" Nodding, Kiyomi smiled at him, hoping to comfort any fear he had about her talking.

“Fear not Musashi-san. I know the price of secrets. We all have things we would rather not have others know. I will guard yours as if it is my own.” With that she bowed her head, trying her best to show that she meant every word she spoke. That done, Kiyomi followed him into the dojo, sliding the door shut behind her, sealing her inside, away from the downpour that provided her her only refuge.

{{End of Kiyomi and Musashi; Chapter 1 =D}}